Words in the CiTi

Are we done yet? What a week I’ve had. If not the show, than the newly updated Check One Two Website (It’s almost done), and of course, Hanukkah. Don’t get me wrong, I love Hanukkah. Before I converted, it was the only Jewish Holiday I knew of, which is funny because as Jewish holidays go, this is literally at the bottom of the list.

More importantly though, it’s a time for family, and because of the distance between Christmas and Hanukkah this year, it has really allowed us to focus on “our week”. It doesn’t hurt that all of the stores are fully stocked with product too. See, there are benefits to being Jewish.

THE 8 GOOD THINGS OF HANUKKAH

1. We don’t have to drag ourselves to the roof to put lights up, or buy that kindling, otherwise known as Christmas Trees, drag it home, and untangle Christmas lights and broken ornaments.
2. If you did forget to get that special someone a gift, well don’t worry, you have 7 more days to get it. It’s like lay-a-way for Jews.
3. Who wants to get up at 5 or 6 in the morning on Christmas day when you can light candles right after sundown and open the gifts then?
4. You go to one Christmas Party, we go to at least 4.
5. It’s the only holiday you can have were “socks” are considered a quality gift because they know you have 7 more days to bring out the big guns.
6. When we get Hanukkah gifts, typically, we still have time to exchange them for better gifts, like the ones you want to get for Christmas. We get the stores fully stocked, you have to kill your neighbor for that Elmo doll on the 24th.
7. When Hanukkah is over, there is no tree to drag to the curb, or lights to retangle and no ornaments to sweep up that the cat knocked down. We just close the menorah box and put it back in the closet.
8. Oh and we get OUR holiday and YOUR holiday off.

THE 8 BAD THINGS OF HANUKKAH

1. There are no Jewish holiday songs, unless you think Adam Sandler sounds like Perry Como
2. When you go to the book store, there is a huge end cap for Christmas books. Strangely enough, all of our books make jokes of Hanukkah like, “Christmukkah” and “Christmas for Jews”
3. You guys make a lot of traffic on the roads for my people. We just want to get home. Can’t you shop between 10-2pm?
4. Parties mean travel, and going anywhere in So Cal at 5pm is a nightmare. 10-2 folks, help us out.
5. Latkes can only be deep fried…I gained like 5 pounds over the week and I think my heart may have stopped once or twice.
6. Your neighbors know where the “Jews” live. They are the ones with no lights up.
7. Your office just doesn’t understand, but will act like they do anyway, and trivialize the whole thing until it sounds like your leaving to have oral surgery.
8. How many times can you hear, “Well, you get 8 days of presents”. Did you not read #6 on the good?

Merry Christmukkah,
Citi

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Tags: hanukkah, christmukkah, Channuka, Chanukkah, holidays, top 8 things about Hanukkah

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2007 at 2:10 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.